Find The Best Of You Before Finding The One

Are pesky parents, curious relatives and friends tying the knot getting on your nerves? Being single can be a bit frustrating at times. Some might say, “Hold on, have patience, the right one is just around the corner.” But does waiting patiently ensure that you will end up with the right one. Believing in your destiny and the chance that you will magically stumble upon your soulmate one day is fine but that should not deter you from going out, exploring the world and discovering the best version of yourself. There are certain aspects that you need to work on before “happily ever after” knocks at your door.

Healing is crucial. You can’t live a peaceful life if the wounds of the past still catch hold of you in your weakest moments. Give yourself some time to heal from the open wounds that should have either become scars or not left any marks at all. Don’t let your past loom over what could be a luminous present and future. Only when you let go of all the toxicity and tend to yourself emotionally, will you find it easy to enjoy the joyous and wonderful things life has to offer — love being one of them. It might not be as easy as it sounds but it’s not impossible either. There is no point beating yourself over the “what ifs” and “should haves”. Life is a continuous cycle of getting hurt and healing yourself, make sure you follow it.

Be self-assured. If you are not confident enough, it will reflect on everything around you. Your relationships, your work, your attitude and your environment. Being your harshest critic once in a while is fine but censuring each and every move of yours will only lead to frustration. Happiness is a choice that you have to make and insecurity is a trait that you have to let go of. The more happiness you spread, the more you attract the same and just to let you know cheery people are way more attractive than those who can’t stop cribbing about their lives. Your happiness is your responsibility.

Love yourself unconditionally. No, self-love has nothing to do with narcissism. Self-love emanates from aligning with your path, from a place of realisation and acceptance. Your imperfections are exactly what makes you flawless. No one can love you as much as you can. Focus on loving yourself unconditionally before expecting anyone else to do the same. Be confident in your skin. Look into the mirror and instead of pointing what you don’t like about yourself, appreciate your beauty. There are innumerable blessings to be thankful about. No day is alike and if it is maybe there is something that you are not doing the way you should.

Discover, Dream, Explore. Make the best of whatever you have, each day is a new chapter of a book yet to be written with the ink of your passion. Keep discovering and reinventing yourself. The more you get to know yourself, the more you are attuned to your emotions and eventually what you want from your life and life partner. Clarity will not only help you in identifying a potential partner but also keeping toxic people at bay. Be sure about what you are looking for in a relationship, that will cut down on a lot of wasted time, energy and effort.

Don’t judge. Slow down, take a deep breath and stop judging yourself. The more you judge yourself, the more it will inhibit your growth as a person. Being too tough on yourself will never do you any good. “Maybe I am not good enough” or “Maybe I shouldn’t have said that”, chuck out all such thoughts out of your brain. The more you reflect on your actions in a degrading way, the more hollow you will make yourself. You are no juror so it’s better to neither judge yourself nor others. The lesser you judge, the more comfortable others will feel around you.

Trust yourself and your instincts. You have to place trust in yourself before anyone else does. You have to trust your gut feeling when it says that you deserve much more than what you got from your previous relationships. Whatever happened in the past in no way means that you should mistrust yourself. There will always be bad days and stagnancy is definitely not the solution. Learn your lessons, move forward with your head held high and the next time that inner voice tells you that something is fishy, unquestioningly believe it. Somewhere in the back of our heads, we all know when things are not going to work out.

Express your emotions. To be with a worthy partner and maintain a solid relationship, it is very important to be in sync with your emotions and communicate them effectively. Yes, it will render you vulnerable but that is the best part about being in love. You can get hurt in the process but the gains are far greater than you can imagine. Someone who cherishes you at your best and nurtures you at your worst is the right one. The person who can’t handle your emotions is not the one you should be taking the leap for. Communicate with love and patience, what you appreciate and what you don’t. 

Let go of the expectations. Expectations are the root of unhappiness and heartbreaks. We want even the smallest act of ours to come back to us in leaps and bounds, which cannot be the case always. Do the good deeds because you want to do it and not because you expect something out of it. Be the one who loves with an open heart because there is no better feeling in this world and not because you want the other person to love you back. At times it will hurt, you will end up crying for days but there is sunshine awaiting you at the end of the road. Remember that nothing is permanent and vibrant summers always follow after drab winters.

Also Read: #QuarterLifeCrisis

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-Priyanka Lamba

 

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